Four days and 1,580 miles later, I can say I’ve experienced NASS! Well, kind of. I ended up pulling Batman out of the show — he wasn’t ready to compete with the other dogs, and I didn’t want to put him in a situation where he wouldn’t be successful. Not a big deal for us.
The Good: I got to help double handle Batman’s littermate Ulrich Maximus (aka Jackie’s Max), which was as close as possible to having my own dog in the ring, except with less running. I was really proud when Max was called out 3rd in a large class of males (12-18mos)– this is especially impressive considering that he is only 13 months old, yet outperformed significantly older dogs. Overall, it was a fun and rewarding weekend.
The Bad, and the Ugly: I had one distinctively unpleasant incident that I wanted to share. After pulling Batman from the show, a person (not from A-T), whom I shall call “The Unwanted Opinionator” (TUO), decided to point out all the physical problems with my dog and expressed relief that I did not show him. TUO went on and on, in a way that was unnecessarily harsh and just plain mean.
For once, I was speechless. I mean, if I wanted my dog to be critiqued, I would have entered him in the damn show. It seemed rather cruel to lay in on me about my dog’s flaws when I had already given up on getting him a rating. Also, Batman was standing right there, and you know all A-T dogs can understand English.
Upon further reflection, I decided that TUO was the type of dog person who has lost the ability to sustain human contact. Like an atrophied muscle, or when you stop watering something, and it just wanders away. You and I must never, ever become like this. Dogs may be like people, but people are also like people. And we have feelings.
Instead of inviting TUO to rejoin the human race, as I should have done, I was silent and slowly backed away. Much like how I was taught to escape a bear in the woods. Unfortunately, I did not have my bear horn on me, otherwise I would have blasted it in TUO’s face as a deterrent.
I escaped the bear’s den and retreated to my car, on the verge of tears. I then sat in my car for almost an hour, trying to figure out why I was so upset by TUO’s remarks. Because I watch Oprah, I know that I can’t fully get over being upset if I don’t fully understand WHY I’m upset in the first place.
It wasn’t about TUO, a person who doesn’t know me, doesn’t know my dog, and who seriously challenges the notion that “everyone is entitled to their opinion.” Sorry, but someone this rude doesn’t deserve to have an opinion. I don’t care what this person thinks about me or my dog.
It wasn’t about the show. A month ago, I hadn’t even planned to go to NASS, and I didn’t really care about showing Batman or getting a rating. It’s cool to have, but it was never a high priority for me. Yet I was far more upset about this incident than I’d been when we totally sucked at AKC Rally, something that I actually DO care about. I couldn’t figure it out.
I tried to think back to the last time I’d felt this way to help explain the present feeling (another thing Oprah taught me — she is so wise). And then it hit me. The last time I’d felt this particular type of “bad” was when I was in the 7th grade and a mean girl on the playground called me a chink, which, incidentally, isn’t even the proper racial epithet — I’m Korean, not Chinese — but I digress.
I remember running off the playground and crying in a bathroom stall, not understanding why someone wouldn’t like me for something I couldn’t control. I couldn’t magically change myself into a more obviously not Chinese person. It was the first time anyone had told me that something about me was wrong, and I couldn’t do anything to fix it. It was awful. No one should ever be made to feel that way.
Obviously, the incident at NASS wasn’t nearly as traumatic as that. I’m a full grown woman, for one. Also, it’s a dog. But the common connection was a sense of confused powerlessness. It’s not my fault that Batman’s tail curls up at the end, or that his structure isn’t perfect, or that he’s slow to mature and has a puppy face, or that he’s out of coat. What do you want me to do? Cut off his tail? Inject him with steroids? Give him hair extensions?
That was the worst part, knowing that I had no control over what was supposedly “wrong” with my dog. Which is total bullshit, by the way, because Batman is perfect.
In the end, I’m grateful for the experience because it taught me a few things:
1. TUO can suck eggs.
2. If you’re on the receiving end of a TUO of your own and don’t have a bear horn handy, cut them off before you get upset and have to go to your Oprah place. Just raise your hand and say, “I’m going to stop you here. I did not ask for your opinion, and I do not want it.” And then calmly walk away.
3. When you feel the need to offer an opinion about someone else’s dog, have the courtesy to ask first. A simple, “May I offer my opinion?” will suffice.
Finally, the experience reinforces something we hear all the time: It doesn’t matter what other people think about your dog. What matters is what YOU think about your dog. This is so very true.
I happen to think that my dog actually is Batman. And he’s the best.
what an awesome post! you had me laughing out loud then getting all teary- eyed. Mean girls suck (or mean guys or whatever).
sounds like you have a great attitude about this showdog nonsense!
Jennie, I wish I could hug you, let me tell you something I have learned from showing and competing with dogs and horses for over 20 years, all opinions are just that, someone’s opinion, just move on and don’t give that self professed a-hole another thought, he probably has a dog at home he wishes were as nice as Batman, at the end of the day these competitions are decided by one persons opinion, an opinion that is more often than not politically motivated and self-serving, I couldn’t care less what someone else thinks of my dogs, they are the most awesome and beautiful dogs in the world to me!!!! Batman is one of the luckiest dogs in the world and you and he are a perfect match, beautiful both inside and out!!!
Jennie, so glad to have finally met you and batman. Wish we all could have had more time visiting and less time running like crazy people It’s not every crime fighter that looks out the window on his vacation to make sure all is safe in the new place. Thank goodness he was not called into action by the bat light. I think Ziva really would have liked to ride in the batmobile w/him!!!!
Anyway, like I told you at the show, the most important opinion is yours. Nothing and no one-except the AT people and their dogs of course 🙂 is perfect. BTW, I think the mayor is very handsome. From what I have observed, the TUO IMO is just generally not a pleasant person.
Jennie, Jennie…
Your posts never disappoint. I’m glad we could meet in person, don’t know when it might ever happen again, but glad we made it this weekend. Love the picture of Batman and can’t wait to see you as Robin. Now, TUO, “water off a duck’s back”.
It is a hard pill to swallow when someone says something like that to your puppy, I am so glad now I wasn’t there.
1. I would have asked the TUO, who asked you? Well I am annoyed looking at your ugly face and you don’t hear me complaining?
2. I would have said something to another unpleasant person who yanked a female pup back to the ring, Kudos to that Judge!
3. I Definitely would have been thrown out because I would have called out that dude who punched his dog in the ring!
I would have yelled ” NO YOU DID’NT” in my best chicken slang.
I have to have a thick skin especially when training in PSA. I just let stuff roll off my back. I am my own’s worst critic when it comes to our traning, we are bad at OB, like majorly sux at it!
I’m still glad you got to go and support our Julie!
OMG Josie, we needed you there this weekend!!!!! We sure did missi you.
Josie,
Sure wish you wer there!
Jennie,
Kudos to you! Batman is a very handsome dog and such a sweet boy. So glad I got to meet both of you. The only opinion that counts is yours.
I went to my Oprah place many times over the weekend and when time when I ddin’t, I should have!
I regret not having more time to get to know many of the AT gang better. there wasn’t a nicer group there (dogs and people!)
Irene
Jennie, love, by it’s very nature, is unabashedly subjective and when you love your dog, it is easy to see their total perfection in your eyes, but, why doesn’t everyone else see it, too? When I first started showing my dogs about 100 years ago, it was hurtful to get unsolicited negative opinions and to not win first place. When I said something about it to my mentor and good friend, she smiled and said something I have never forgotten – “At the end of the day, ask yourself, Am I taking the best dog home?” Of course, the answer is always yes. Gracie (Gavin’s sister) and Vida (Zucca’s son) think your Batman comes from impeccable bloodlines and send lots of loving sloppy, wet kisses to you and perfectly perfect Batman.
“At the end of the day, ask yourself, Am I taking the best dog home?”
That is such a wise and absolutely perfect thing for your friend and mentor to have said, Margot.
Jennie,
I know you didn’t ask for our opinion but U-Rock and I are going to give you one:
WE THINK BATMAN IS PERFECT!
And, if anyone wants to disagree, send them our way… between U-Rock’s teeth & my military background, we’ll give them a piece of our minds… 🙂
If you followed just a few of the suggestions everyone gave you & let Batman give you a few sloppy kisses, I am sure you’ve already realized that “at the end of the day, you are the one that took the best dog home” (thanks Margot,,, I loved the saying)!
Hi, Jennie–thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I’m sorry you had to deal with that kind of rudeness. I know what you mean about being speechless when something like that happens–it’s like it’s out of right field (I’m left-handed, so for that expression to be accurate for me, I’m switching it around) and I’m just so stunned that I don’t even think of responding. Like you, I’m analytical. I want to have experiences and then understand what I can learn from them and integrate into my life from that point forward. I also like to try to figure out what in the world would possess people to do rude things–what’s the payoff for them? Why would they not treat others as they would like to be treated? Do they not receive joy from treating people with the kindness, dignity and respect all people deserve? Are they insensitive, and have no idea what kind of impact they’re having? This is more difficult to do when it’s a stranger; there’s no “history.” Do they feel unworthy themselves, and instinctively pass it on? Are they just behaving like miserable jerks? So many possibilities.
FYI: Had I been there, I would have placed myself into the conversation in your defense. 🙂
You should have come and got me. I would have loved to have met this knowledgeable person and opened a can of whoop ass for talking badly about MY puppy. Batman wasn’t ready to show this weekend—that’s why you pulled him. However, for his young age he has probably learned and done more things than whatever dog this person has at home. More than likely you were getting the opinion of a two-minute expert. I’m sorry that this happened to you.
Jennie, sometimes, the most shocking comments are the most difficult to respond to because we are so totally unprepared for someone to be so entirely offensive. That level of rudeness would render anyone speechless!
All our dogs have good days and bad, with coats that glow with the colors of a sunset or look like hell when blown, they glide like poetry in motion, or scratch and lick their _ss, and and they either embarrass us or make us so proud we can hardly breath! Through all the highs and lows, few love, care for, and train their dogs like this wonderful family of AT owners. Batman is a shining example of the beauty, health, and intelligence of our AT dogs. You and Battie have been our inspiration, mentoring us as we’ve tried to follow your lead with Dutch. Please don’t allow that mean insensitive (possibly jealous?) person to affect you. This behavior is exactly what defines a bully: They are often angry, upset, jealous, aggressive, mean, insensitive, and cruel, hurtful, and frightening. I am so sorry that you were hurt.
Thanks for sharing, Jennie, and unfortunately, lots of people just plain suck. I didn’t learn that from Oprah…just experience. You should have given Batman the “bite”command on her ass 🙂
Thank you, everyone. I’m a little embarrassed that I let myself be so upset over it. Usually, I’m better at letting things go. I agree that I took the best dog home — even in the moment, that was never in doubt.
I think I was personally upset by the message this person was sending me, that I was a fool for trying to compete with this dog, that we did not belong there. I was already feeling like I was in over my head, and had made the choice to pull Batman because I didn’t want him, or me, to be the subject of ridicule. So having this person ridicule us anyway — it didn’t help. Talk about being kicked while you’re down!
So, yeah, not a great first show experience for me and the Batman at NASS. We will not be doing it again. I originally had not planned to show him, and was going to take him “Dylan-style,” as a lovable A-T family spectator. I wish I had stuck to my original plan. That’s another good lesson: Follow your gut! Not every dog has to be a show dog, no matter how handsome and heroic they are. And that’s OK. I think his trainer Peggy said it best: “He’d rather be your performance dog, and movie star on the side anyway.”
Way to go, Peggy!
Jennie,
Jack and I were so glad you came to NASS as it was a pleasure to meet you and the Batman. As much as we enjoyed meeting the two of you we are so sorry that you had such a bad experience.
The first time I entered Dylan in a show, when he was just over 6 months old and I was handling him myself, a “proffesional handler” said “you should show that dog in the Boxer ring (as he pointed to the Boxers nearby) as he forgot his coat”.
OK, anyone who insults Dylan is certifiably insane. He is the model specimen of a Lab! It was so fun meeting you, Jack, Donna and the boys!
It was so good to see you and Batman again. I just love Batman he is an awesome dog. Glad you made it back to the Bat-cave safely. Some people can be so rude and insensitive. Is it too much to ask for people to at least follow the same rules we give 7 year olds: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!
By the way, you were hands down the winner of most fashionable rain attire. You looked so chic in your bright red rain boots and belted rain coat!
I am so sorry you had to encounter such a pitiful example of the human breed–this one should be put in a locked room with itself, no end date.
You have Batman and I have Robin: Raj still has his puppy face, does leaps and bounds at unexpected moments, and when he thinks I am not happy with him he rolls on his back, waves his feet in the air, and nibbles my shoelaces. Everybody else says it is adorable, and I have a lot of trouble not laughing. In the long run there is much to be said for maturing slowly. When Batman and Raj are still doing all this stuff at fifteen, you and I are going to be the happiest people in the world.
I think people like that have to talk big and put others down in order to succeed. I let the quality of my dogs speak for itself. I’m not sure what is supposedly so wrong with Batman but if it’s a puppy-ish face and lack of coat, well Nikon was the same way for about three years but now I am starting to enjoy showing him and plan to do so more often. Some dogs just take more time, especially if your priority is training and work, not ringcraft. People can nitpick over little things here and there but the fact remains that while Nikon may not be a class winner he’s never been excused from the ring, never not received the highest rating available for his age, and we have never failed to Q/pass/title in our performance events. If he’s just not the type of dog someone else likes that is totally fine but unfortunately some people are just cruel as you have now experienced first hand 🙁 But I just tell myself so what if we had a slow start? I am proud of my dog. Everything we have accomplished we have done together. I’ve never shown or trialed on a home field. I am not in the know with the judges. Nothing has been handed to me. Often I travel to events by myself and no one has heard of my dogs. Now that Nikon is mature he is getting requests for breedings and not from people who only see his color or V/VA ratings but people who are looking at all aspects of working ability and temperament and see him for the dog he is. Don’t let those assholes get you down, enjoy your dog for who he is *right now* and who knows you might change your mind and enjoy showing him later on.
Great post Lies.! Jennie I hope you take her post to heart, I think you should consider showing Batman next year when he and you are both physically and mentally prepared for it, even once to just get yourself that rating that you will feel you deserve and can do! I think you will actually even feel better about it, I have a similar story as you with one of my horses that I bred and raised, her mother was a mixed breed I bred and raised, her father a Champion Arabian I saved 2 years to afford to breed to, at her first show in conformation I overheard these snobs talking about my cheap mutt and how the wheat would fall from the chafe and I would choke on reality at “this level”, I became intimidated and scratched her against my trainers advice, I loved my baby and didn’t want anyone laughing at her, I was new to the Arabian show world, later at the end of the year in the California Championships I went ahead and entered her against a huge class of Southern Cals best fillies, of course the mean girls and their horses were entered too, I remember discouraging my family and friends from coming to spare myself the humiliation of being outclassed, but of course they all came to support me, there in the stands at Del Mar I watched my baby, my pride and joy show her heart out while my heart was in my throat, when the 3 Judge panel started to call the top 10 winners, starting from 10th forward I just accepted that she probably didn’t make the cut, the mean girls got 9th and were jumping up and down, as there is money in top 10. , finally the judges stated that both the Champion and Reserve Champion were unanimous , than they called out my baby’s name as Reserve Champion, I was stunned, than burst into tears because it validated everything I ever thought of my baby, seeing her standing with ribbons and flowers around her neck is a memory I will forever cherish and taught me to never question your convictions, I let those evil bitches doubt my baby because they were jealous, my baby Rhage went on to win in Santa Barbara and Reno the following month and became a Champion under saddle as well, I will always now follow my own instincts and convictions!
Jennie,
I had such grand illusions after I brought Lily home. We were going to be best buds and I was going to do agility with her. Little did I know that some serious health problems I had were going to prevent me from reaching any of those dreams. I had to find a way to tell myself “It’s OK to just love Lily as a pet”, not something to show off in agility or any show ring in the world.
Boy was this difficult to get through my thick head. I called Carole one day out of the blue, crying because I didn’t feel I was giving Lily all that she needed. That I was still somehow missing the mark. Carole asked me if Lily was “happy” and I said yes…very. Then she said Lily’s job was not agility, but to be a caretaker of me. Still I had doubts. Months later, Lily proved Carole right. I got up in the middle of the night and I have difficulty seeing in the dark. Lily came to my side of the bed and put her muzzle under my hand and guided me to the bathroom and then back to bed. I still cry when I remember the first time she did this.
She is my forever dog. The love of my life. On long walks in the woods it is not only the peace I feel from the rivers edge, but the wagging tail in the bushes near by that offers me the most comfort.
SCREW all of them and their opinions. Just love Batman for who he is and take all the comfort he offers you everyday of your life. It will be short, as we know dogs don’t live forever…Medals don’t mean anything to me compared to the memories of all the good times Lily and I have shared thus far.
I love you Batman and I would have gladly put that EVIL PERSON in his place had I been there.
Pam,
What a lucky dog she is!
Irene
Thank you, Pam. I love Lily and can’t think of a better match for her than you. Your story brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you, Lorie. I loved this story. And thank you, Lies, and AT family for such thoughtful comments. I’m grateful to have such a strong network of support.
There is just no excuse for anyone to be such a bully and so hurtful. Jennie, as insensitive as this unfortunate experience was, your openness and keen ability to share it has solicited some of the most wonderful responses. There is no doubt in my mind that every single person that has commented, along with so many others, would all answer a resounding “YES” to Margot’s mentor. It was hard to finish reading Pam’s story because of the teary eyes…reality check on what’s important and how to be present with these beautiful gifts provided by our dogs. It is no wonder why, when meeting everyone for the very first time at NASS, I felt like it was more of a family reunion than a first-time meeting. This blog is very very special. Thank you, Julie for matching us with the best and most perfect dogs in the world, because they are so much more than just a tail or a coat or whatever…. they are very very much loved!!!
BTW, Love that picture of Batman! Syd sends sloppy kisses and says she totally made out from all the guilt shopping done by mom, LOL….gotta love that kid:))
I am really sorry this happened Jennie. There is NO perfect dog and anyone can pick any dog apart. Without naming names I could start listing the faults of past siegers and siegerins. I could make them sound just awful by the time I pointed out their problem areas. The best dog is the one you take home with you and the dog that loves you unconditionally. Love you Jennie.
I forgot to say, I love how you brought humor to your story. I felt horrible for what happened to you but you also had me laughing out loud. I think we have another author here. Myabe your new job could be writing children’s books about Batman the German Shepherd Dog?
I just returned home from an emergency visit to our vet. I was absolutely terrified when I clipped one of Dutch’s nails too short, and he was bleeding all over the kitchen. He never even noticed my act of butchery, but happily jumped into my Tahoe as we raced to the vet. The “emergency” treatment consisted of applying some Quick Stop Powder to the nail. I’m not sharing this story just to let you know what a horrible “mother” I am – I want you to know that two of the vets, and several techs came out to tell me that Dutch is the most FRIENDLY, LOVING AND SWEET NATURED German Shepherd they had ever encountered. Apparently, he was kissing everyone and lapping up all their attention. I have no idea how he would be “judged” according to the NASS criteria, but I already know I have the best dog, too!
By the way, that was my first and last attempt to ever trim Dutch’s nails with a clipper! The poor baby never complained, but I am still shaken. I had loaned my Gentle Paws to a friend.
What a lovely story about you AND photo of a lovely dog. Made me cry. I think all of us have succumbed to some sort of bullying that makes some feelings bubbles up and I’m so glad you found the root and were able to dig it out!
I cannot add anything to the previous comments, with the exception of “Each and every one of us have the absolute best dogs, hands down!”