I am posting this on behalf of Lee R who has been a LDT follower and participant for many years. His dog Apollo was not an AT dog, but is a part of our GSD family. Lee’s raw feelings and deep heartfelt loss is something that we all understand too well. Please say a little prayer for Apollo and most of all for Lee.
I lost my boy Apollo. Two days ago. Sunday.
A couple of weeks ago he developed a limp, so I took him in to the vet. He had a large bruise on his ribs right behind is right foreleg, so we all attributed the limp to a fall or collision with a wall since I have slippery hardwood floors. He was given some NSAID’s and we went home. He showed immediate improvement and was just fine. Then last Wednesday night I noticed he was breathing a bit shallowly. So I called the vet on Thursday and made an appointment for Friday. They took x-rays and found some spots on his lungs and wanted me to see a specialist for a better look on a better machine. He was already a client of Michigan Veterinary Specialists in Southfield for his eye condition (chronic canine keratitis, I think is the name) so I called them immediately. They couldn’t get us in until Monday morning, so I booked them then.
He didn’t eat his entire dinner on Saturday, so I knew something was wrong. I fed him a raw diet with Honest Kitchen thrown in, so it was his favorite time of the day. Sunday morning when I took him outside he laid down at the door on our way back in and didn’t want to get up. So I decided to take him to the MVS Emergency. They took x-rays and thought he had cancer in the shoulder of the same leg he was limping on previously which had spread to his lungs. They told me there was hardly any good lung tissue remaining.
So for the second time in my life, I had to do the hardest thing I have ever done. I had my boy put to rest as I held him in my arms. He was having trouble breathing and I didn’t want him to suffer or try to hang on any longer just for me. In the entire almost nine years I had him, we never spent a single night apart. The last two nights are the first I have spent in an empty house.
I’m sorry for the long winded explanation, but I wanted you to know how strong his character was. Throughout all of this he never complained. The last day he had a couple of minor whines, but other than that never showed me the slightest sign that he wasn’t feeling well. He was my boy. He was my best friend on this earth.
I am not sure if I will get another GSD, but I think that is just my broken heart talking. I have always been a dog person since I was a little kid. I lived alone with Apollo for those almost nine years and couldn’t have been happier. Some people need spouses, children, grand children, etc. While those are wonderful things, I have always known that I would be perfectly content with my dog.
I wanted you to know how important my boy was, and always will be to me. I know I can never replace him, only find a new friend to share my life with.
Le I am so sorry for your loss. That is such a hard thing to do, but you did the most unselfish thing you could have done. My prayers are with you, rest in peace dear Apollo.
Lee,
I am so so sorry. I understand what you’re feeling all too well, having lost 2 in 2 years. Give yourself a time to heal, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Lee,
I am so very, very sorry. There are no words to ease the pain. There are never any replacements for our special dogs. But when the time is right, another dog, maybe a GSD will make a new warm place in your heart.
Run free Apollo. He is with you always.
Irene, you truly have a way with words. You words helped me heal, honestly.
I am so sorry for your loss, Lee. I just finished reading about your Apollo – it brought tears to my eyes. Then I read that beautiful Allie is ready to burst, and that Dudah is expecting ELEVEN (!!!) puppies. It’s the babies that help us get through the worst of times, when we never imagine feeling whole again. As you said, Apollo is irreplaceable; you will think about him as you teach your new friend everything he knew. It is the best thing you can do in his memory.
Lee, I am deeply sorry for your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Godspeed, Apollo.
Lee,
We all know too well what you are going through and it’s the price we all pay for giving and receiving love to and from our dogs. We will never change that!!
There is never a replacement for the ones we lost… the pain becomes a memory and the memory becomes a smile… I smile each and every time I remember one of the dogs I lost! And that is why we all smile all the time…
From one dog person to another I encourage you to consider giving your love to a new friend that will help you create new smiles… we are sharing your tears with you now and would love to smile along with you when the time comes.
See you later Apollo…….
I am so very sorry for your loss, Lee. As heart-wrenching as it is to make the decision, I believe it to be the final loving decision we can make for a beloved pet. A very un-selfish decision on your part: what was best for Apollo. Un-selfish–just as he surely always was for you. I pray for your healing and comfort, Lee–and for the day when the memory of him can bring you a smile once again.
I am so sorry, Lee. You did right by Apollo, and it’s clear you shared a once-in-a-lifetime bond. That will never change, whether you decide to get another dog or not (though I hope you do, as you are so obviously a “dog person”).
I once read that letting a dog go is the act of transferring pain from the dog to the owner. You take away the pain from your dog, and place it upon yourself to bear. It is the ultimate act of love and respect for a dog that served you so faithfully for almost 9 years.
Lee-May you find some peace in knowing that your wonderful friend Apollo is waiting for you on the other side and he will be with you always in your heart and mind.
Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. It is so hard to come home to an empty house and not hear his tail banging against the hall closet even before I am close to the front door.
He was my best friend. Some people look forward to the weekends so they can go out and about. I always looked forward to them because it meant I could spend the whole time with Apollo and not have our time interrupted by work.
He was my shadow, my faithful friend and my protector. He was only 5 months old when I had to put my previous dog, a very loving female Irish Wolfhound, to sleep. Apollo took care of me all of that time and every single day since then. He will be very sorely missed.
Again thank you all for the kind words and thoughts. Knowing there are so many others out there who have been through similar experiences does help. Thank you.
Lee
Dan and I had to put down our GSD on August 29, 2011. Needless to say when I read your story I cried. We still miss our Sasha and want to do the best we can with our new puppy Oso. Although I enjoy Oso I doubt I will ever stop missing Sasha.
so hard to lose them as they just aren’t here with us long enough but to lose them unexpected like you did Apollo it is so much harder. You did the right thing for your boy and released him from pain and wonderful memories will help you heal your heart and let Apollo live on in your mind and heart forever . I’m sure another GSD will enter your life when you are ready and for the time and love they give us any amount of heartbreak is worth it when we lose them. Fly free Apollo…
Oh Lee, my heart aches for you! You had such a wonderful relationship with Apollo. As so many of the other posts have said, it will be those memories of your special friendship that will help you through this difficult time.
I am so very sorry, Lee. I join with the sentiments that have been so beautifully expressed. We have certainly all hugged our furry kids a little tighter, and shed a tear as we remember the pain that you are feeling. Apollo will always live in your heart, and in time, the happy memories will overcome the pain.
Lee, I’m so very sorry words can’t express. God speed to Apollo. My prayers to you.