Training the Big Z in O-Town

Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Well, not really innocent—just someone who doesn’t want to be expelled.

The Big Z and I arrived about 10 minutes early. There are four other dog/handlers waiting with me. Three big pups are in the same area as me, and one small pup away from the big dogs. The Big Z and I are sitting on her little mat watching the scenery. The conversation goes like this:

“My dog hates this thing.” “Oh, so does my dog. He rubs his face on the ground trying to get it off.” “My dog throws up when I put it on.” I looked at the three dogs—none looked happy.  I looked at the Big Z and she looked back at me with a big sappy smile, wagging her tail.

Time for class. Huh—it is only HALF the size it was on night two. Seems like a pretty heavy drop-out rate. The nice instructor from last week went around with the clip board and asked everyone their name and name of their dog—except for us. Do you think she remembered me and the Big Z from last week? Is there some Poison logo next to our name?

The Grab-It Lady was not there. Instead the Nasty One, who has previously been mean to Susan and Mr. W. was there to command the class. Unlike me, Susan is one of the nicest people you could ever meet. Mr. W. is perfectly trained—NO ONE should EVER be mean to either of them.

Nasty One takes control of the class. “Everyone put your dog in HEEL Position.” People are looking like she just spoke in a foreign tongue. We’ve only been told to have our dog sit prior to this. “What? You don’t KNOW Heel Position?” “I will demonstrate.” And Nasty One proceeds to take the guy’s Standard Poodle to use as the Demo dog. Why didn’t she use the Big Z? We were right there!

Ut oh! Nasty One can’t get Poodle into Heel Position. Why? Oh, because the treat value that SHE was using was TOO high.  She gives Poodle back to the guy and goes to find a dog/handler from one of the advanced classes to use as the demo dog. Demo complete—all is right with her world.

Now it is time to have dog sit and step in front. She wants eye contact, but never uses that term. The dog is supposed to be staring at the cookie that is held at your forehead. Guy with Poodle doesn’t get it and he asks if she can visually demonstrate it. He means with HIS dog. Since we already know that her treat value is too high for the Poodle, she used the other instructor to be her dog. I’m sure that cleared everything up in that guy’s mind.

There is a lot of idle time. The Big Z and I try not to cause trouble and just do our thing. The Big Z is going through a stage where she has very little focus, or it is hit & miss. Keeps me guessing! Last night I used cooked chicken breast for her treats and the old squirrel on the rope. We are talking about an outright beast at home when it comes to any type of a tug game. No problemo with her payday. If she doesn’t think you are paying fast enough, she will gladly leap up and grab it herself. Ouch. Yes, Pappa Judd—I have kept her a monster!  However, at class she has been the perfect little lady. Last night we actually played tug sitting in our little area. She outed when asked and I didn’t have blood dripping from my hands. Amazing! We practiced sit, plotz, stand, tugged with outs, more tugs, etc. Before you think that she’s the perfect angel, rest assured—she’s not. She’s a puppy! I do not require 100% focus on me 100% of the time. I let her see what’s going on. Her favorite thing to do is try to get Big Bro Kai into trouble. She looks at him and he barks (puppy woofs) and the Nasty One does not like that! I must say though, that I thought the Big Z rocked! And she was PERFECT with other dogs. Now back to class…

Time to teach your puppy to out. Good grief—we’ve done that so much this evening that even I’m sick of it! I whip out my squirrel on the rope, we tug (I don’t know if that was part of the plan, but it is what I do), stop tugging and tell the kid to out and she does! I get, “Oh—that’s pretty good.” They do not demonstrate any of this. How would you know what and/or why you are doing this if you have no prior experience?

Next…both trainers are confused as to what is next. They are both looking at the instruction book and still not sure. Next is the Leave It Game. The nice one asks me if it was mentioned in class last week. I said yes, it was mentioned and a little demo.  Instructions have changed now that Nasty is in charge. Last week you threw one cookie on the floor and said “Leave It,” as you held the dog short so it can’t get the cookie. Well—we were doing it ALL WRONG! You MUST throw THREE cookies on the floor! I’m not certain why three is the magic number but please don’t try this exercise at home unless you have three cookies to throw on the floor. Big Z did this perfectly. Even Nasty had to comment that she seems to have THIS one down right. Now say that in the tone that THIS is the ONLY thing we can do right.

Heeling. According to the instruction manual, we are to be taking a few steps and praising the dog. Oh no, we must heel the length of the ring and back again. The Big Z is distracted by noise and commotion. Before we being to heel, I whip out the old squirrel, fire her enough to look up at me and say, “Fuss!” as we briskly head to the other side of the ring. At the end of the ring Big Z says, “Hey there’s Party Girl and Prada AND the door, let’s blow this joint.”  Yep—she’s in front of me and pulling. I get her attention back to me and as we turn and head back where we came from Nasty says to me, “STOP!! YOU are doing it ALL WRONG!” Then she leans in toward me and says, “You would be able to control her if you were using a head halter.” (Come on—you knew that was coming!) And I said to Nasty, “Yes, but it wouldn’t be as much fun!” I don’t think Nasty likes me.

Nasty now has her eyes on me. It’s time to practice the recall, which has not been properly explained for those who have never done this exercise. Big Z sits, stays—I call her and run backwards. Of course I am DOING IT WRONG! I should NOT be moving—the dog should be doing it on her own. Well—Big Z WAS doing it on her own. However, we are on a 6’ lead and I like a little action and so does the Big Z. By the way, next week the plan is to have everyone do this on a long line, and I don’t mean with one of them holding the line. The plan is to have your dog sit and stay, go 20’ out and call your dog to you. If the dog doesn’t come, you are to pull in the line. How the hell can you ask people to leave their dog and go 20’ away when most can’t go three feet away without the dog getting up?

OMG! I almost forgot—we also learned THE DOWN!  Again, a highly trained demo dog was used. It’s a good thing because even I have NEVER seen it done like this. Experienced handler with trained dog comes in ring. Handler gets in front of dog and says, “Back, back, DOWN!” The dogs takes two or three steps backwards and then goes down as handler places food on the floor. Nasty says that it is VERY important to do, “Back, back, DOWN.” (Now as you’re saying “DOWN” imagine singing “Down” in a high-pitched voice.) It is very important that your dog be taught in this manner. The dog’s front should go down before the rear. OK—not a problem, but I’m not screwing up what the Big Z already knows.  Nasty is waiting for Big Z and I do our stuff. “Stand.” “Plotz!” Plotz was signaled to ground, with food reward in hand. Crap. I forgot the Back, Back, sing the Down part. Oh wait—I didn’t need it. She went down perfectly. That about sums up our hour of power!