Did I read that sign correctly?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
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Proofreading is a dying art,wouldn’t you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and
Daughter
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that’s taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
—————————–
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
——————————
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
——————————
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
——————————
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
——————————
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
——————————
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge
He probably IS the battery charge!
——————————
New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
——————————
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
——————————
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is….
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
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And there is always the old Intourist guide greeting: “This is the Soviet Union and you are welcome to it!”
Maybe it’s the martinis, and it’s Saturday night, but we are falling apart laughing here!
These are great Julie. Please tell Mos he had me cracking up!
These were pretty funny—thank you, Mos!
Love these-glad I am home reading these, I would hate to be at work giggling. Thanks for the chuckles Mos.
Love it!! Waiting for Mos’ next installment. Please make sure he knows we all appreciate his humor!